My blog of thanks!

As cheesy as this sounds, I'm going to write this blog about things I'm thankful for!

First of all I'm thankful for God! He has given me many many chances, mercy, grace, and most of all love! He is the reason I'm alive, healthy, a wife, and a mom.

I'm super thankful for my husband. He works so hard to provide for me and my son. He is such a great husband and father.

My son! He is such an amazing little boy! He is so smart and sweet!

My few friends I do have. I'm thankful for God "weeding" out my friends and leaving the true flowers!!!

I know there are many other things that I'm thankful for but I can't really think about it, my son is ready for a nap! Toodles for now..........

Long time not.being here

As I type this please know Im on my phone so forgive any typos! I moved back to my hometown, and thats where I have been these last 2 months, of no blogging, packing, moving, and being mom! It feels so great to be back, but since my hubby is still working back in Hood, both mt son and I can his presense gone and miss him terrobly!

Today, Zal started crawling on all 4's!!! These last 17 days he had been Army crawling and doing a "worm" type of crawl. But today was no worm! Im so proud! It actually is fun chasing after him, and making sure he doesnt chew on the wires!

He has also started sleeping at least 6-7 hours in a stretch and some nights its amazing. I dont sleep much wothout hubby, yes Im spoiled that way, but its nice to know thar I really didnt have to sleep train him like I tgought I would! Ive been stressed lately but have been praying fervently to have no anxiety, and God is always faithful that way! I do feel like a huge weight is lifted after I pray.and give Him all the stuff I cant handle. Some nights Im able to sleep that stretch of 6 hours abd for that Im super blessed!

Im getting more excited because Im going back to.school next semester!!!!!!!!!! I hope to.make my husband and son proud! Ill be attempting to get my B.A. in BioChem! So we will see how that goes!

Today is my Grandpa's 88th bday, and I cant wait to see him this weekend to celebrate!! Im not really lookign forward to being 28 next week, but life must continue, haha! Well my fingers are tired so ill have to write again soon, on a bigger devise!

toodles

God never fails!!!

My faith has always been super super important to me and God continues to show His love and grace to me even though I'm a sinner.

This month has been financially stressful and tight. Even though I knew He would take care of me and my lil family, still going through these problems was stressful. I've been blessed with friends who have helped us out when they, themselves, were going through a move and stressful times. I have always believed that He puts people in my life for a reason. And boy am I blessed with the few friends I do have. People have come and gone in my life (as they do for you I'm sure) and He never fails in letting us know that "Hey, I still have your best interests at hand!"

We are slowly getting back on our feet and knowing that the entire time, God was watching over us still gave us a peace in our minds and hearts. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel and its getting closer and closer with each passing day.

Watching my son grow and laugh and learn things every day is just the best gift God has given me, besides my husband!! I know there are still learning opportunites to be learned with raising Zal, and I don't think I will ever be ready for them, but I know with God looking out for us, it won't be as hard as I'm thinking it will be.

Lord, please continue to watch over my family, friends, my son and my husband! I can never thank you enough for all that you continue to bless me with. I pray, Lord, that I raise Zal to be a man of God and be a gentleman. Please continue to show me how to achieve that goal. Please continue to guide me to be a better and more supportive wife, a better daughter, a better sister, a better cousin, and a better friend to those around me. Thank you for never failing us, for showing us every day that you love us, give us grace and mercy, and for never letting us out of your sight. Amen

Since Zal just fell asleep and while I was typing this I had a snack, I'm getting a bit tired so I'm off for a cat nap! Toodles

My Novelas!

Ahoy me mateys! Today be the gr'ate Pirate day! I be Cap'n Cas an' I say ye landlubbers arrrghh.....ok I'm done lol

I thought I would write about what shows I like because well.....I just want to!

First of all my all time favorite tv show is the Golden Girls!! The first time I ever watched that show was in 8th grade and I'm not even sure I was allowed to, hahah sorry mom! When hubby would go out into the field I would have a day of just a marathon of Golden Girls! I remember freshman year of high school, a good friend of mine, Stephanie, and I would have sleep overs and after school sessions of Golden Girls and eat Hot Cheetos with Nacho cheese! Those were fun days! Back then I would consider myself a Rose, and sometimes I still am....but once I get older, like old lady age (75+) I want to be like Sophia! THat way, I will always have a funny/witty story to tell my grandkids!

My second favorite show is Dexter! I am so so so so so (and I can keep going with the so's) sad that this coming Sunday will be the last...episode...ever!!! :(  My brother got me into that show during the second season and man, I've been hooked ever since! While hubby was stationed in Korea I would go to sleep watching Dexter. Now some family members like to think I named my son after a serial killer, but honestly I liked that name and thought it would be awsome to do a play on words with that and my last name! Seeing as this is the internet....I'm not going to disclose that information, so those that know me, well thats what I was thinking when I gave my son that middle name, plus we spell it DextOr!

Other shows I like to watch are cooking shows. I like MasterChef, Hell's Kitchen, Rachel v. Guy, Chopped, and the recent Cutthroat Kitchen. That show is nuts and its fun that hubby and I watch it together! Normally we watch a few shows together, otherwise we do have our own that we like apart. We watch Castle, NCIS, the Walking Dead (and as stated before I close my eyes during Zombie scenes lol), Famliy Guy, American Dad, The Mentalist, The Client List, The Big Bang Theory (even Zal watches that show with us). Shows I watch without hubby include: Devious Maids, Face Off, Catfish, Friends....and I think that is all that I watch normally.

Since Dexter is ending we have been looking at new shows to get into. We've heard Game of Thrones is good...so we will see about that!

Last night Dex slept well, gave me 5 hours then another 4 after that, it was great!! I'm hoping that will become a regular thing, before his teeth start coming in!! I think today's blog will be short, so I'm off to eat some carrots!

Happy Talk like a Pirate day!!

nothing really

I'm super glad I now get at least 2 hours to myself when Zal takes his naps! Most of the time, that is! Every now and then he will have his 40min days, but I'll take it! Its nice to just sit back and relax!

Recently hubby and I have had a bit of some financial trouble and I'm praying things will perk up next month. This month was a "ramen noodles for dinner" most nights. Not that I'm complaining because I'm so blessed to even have food in the house, things could be much worse. I count my blessings every day and am super glad things are going smoothly for the most part!

I do wish I could have a better memory, hey maybe there is an oil for that! lol

There are many times family members have said "hey remember that time we blah blah blah," and I'm like "uh no". I'm hoping in Heaven, I can use a machine that will allow me to look back on my memories so that I can be like "heck yes I remember wasn't that funny!" Sometimes I wonder if it was because of my parents divorce that because it was traumatic, thats why I don't remember much. I've often wondered if hypnosis is real and is I could do that to remember certain things, not bad, just in general.

I think today I'll take my son out to the store just to browse. The house is clean for the most part, and since he does go stir-crazy I think he will enjoy people watching. I hope this doesn't sound too conceited, but I really enjoy that about 95% of the time, when we go to the store someone comments on how cute my son it!! I know every parent is biased but darn it, my kid is too stinkin' cute!! In my head, those comments make up for the bad ones that bullies used to tell me, might not make sense to you but in my brain it does.

So as I sit here and type this, and munch on my Sour cream and onion Pringles, I'm brought back to when my sister was little and she would get my grandpa Tony to take her to the store just so she could get some regular flavored Pringles. She loved them!! She also hates that my family and I reminisce about when she was younger. Sorry chives your just so cute so cute and I'm so glad I can remember things like that about you!!!

Anyway I think I'll go take a shower before son wakes up! Toodles

I know I know

Yes I realize its been 2 weeks since I've blogged.

Turns out the CIO method I was thinking I was doing isn't what it really is. Anyway, it only took one night of that for my son to stop rolling over and getting stuck. If he does it he doesn't cry anymore and I'm so glad he calms down when I let him know I'm right there! I didn't like hearing him cry (what parent does) so I'm glad it only took that one night for him to realize hey I can do it on my own!

He is super smart that way, it usually takes kids multiple times to see or do something before they get the hang of things. I would say about 50% of the things Zal learns he only needs once to learn to do it. Yes I am bragging and I know I'm totally biased but he is super smart!!

To continue on my brag post (yes that is what this is now lol) he says Dadada and no no no. He can now sign Dad and mom! We haven't been puttin him in the walker or jumper as we are still trying to learn crawling. He gets into the push-up position but isn't quite there yet! I give it another month! He has weaned himself from 4+ night time feedings to now 2, sometimes 3 depending on how tired I am and how whiny he is! But I am totally ok with him not sleeping through the night yet! It will come, and as I've always done, I'll let him make that decision, which should be close!!

On monday of last week he was having symptoms of a cold, because daddy brought home one, and I looked up some essential oil remedies and found Lemon oil works for infants for colds. Hubby's family is into Doterra oils and I am now a firm believer!! I can't wait to start selling them!! So tuesday he had a full blown cold: fever, runny nose, sneezing, cough, my poor baby boy! So I started with the lemon oil (diluted of course) 4 times a day on his chest and neck and by friday it was cleared up! Saturday and Sunday he still had a small runny nose but he was back to his normal happy lil self!! Yesterday it seemed like he was all clear, but there have been construction workers messing with things outside so its super dusty which makes me wonder if the boogers he has today are allergies, or still lingering from his cold. I'm not sure but I'm still putting the oils on just in case. If I think its getting any worse I'll take him to the doctor but I'm very much a believer now in essential oils!!

I've been working out somewhat, trying to get these last 8lbs gone! Then I'll be under 200 lbs! Its been a year and 7 months since I had my surgery and its about darn time I get back on track with my workouts! I've been doing "Dance Central" on the xBox, and even though my hubby doesn't think that is a workout, I think it is! I'm sucking in my abs and I try to over exaggerate the moves so that I am working up a sweat! I think had I been able to take dance class when I was younger I would have been a dancer, I love doin it! Its so fun!

I told hubby this year for my birthday I want to go dancing so hopefully we will be able to!! We are going back home for the holidays which I'm super excited about!! Last year sucked monkey butts because we had to stay here for the holidays and we vowed to never do that again, even though it was a nice lil thanksgiving and Christmas we had, it would have been even better with family around!!

Should only be a couple more months till we are back in EP for good and I'm super stoked about that! Did I use that word right?! lol, I'm not sure!
ANyway I need to get a little nap in before Zal wakes up! Toodles

CIO: Night 1

I've come to the sad conclusion that I will have to go about helping my son sleep better at night by letting him Cry It Out (CIO). I really really didn't want to do that because it really does break my heart to hear him cry but now that he is rolling all over his bed, I can't keep staying awake to roll him back over every time. (He is a tummy sleeper and once on his back he freaks out a little)

Last night we stayed in the guest room so that daddy could get some rest. He slept from about 7:30pm-10:30pm, I fed him, then he woke up again around 12:45 and I gave him his paci and prayed and prayed. He cried for about 30 min off and on and rolled around. When he first started crying I picked him up after 5 min because I felt so bad. I didn't want him to think I just abandoned him there. I held him for about 2 min and put him back down. I think that made the crying a little worse but I laid down in the bed next to him (he is in his bassinet) and tried to comfort him by rubbing his back.

He finally went to sleep about 1:20am and I finally fell asleep. He woke up again around 2:30am and was just stirring a bit, then slept till 5am.

I prayed so hard for strength and patience, and right now I'm going to pray for persistence. I have to keep at this so that he will learn. This morning he was upset I could tell, he didn't want to cuddle with me and wasn't as talkative as he normally is in the mornings. He usually gives me besos but not this morning. I realize he probably won't remember this, and I'm praying so so hard that he won't. I never want him to feel like I'm going to always be this 'mean', or not comfort him when he needs it.

I never in my wildest dreams thought being a mom would be this challenging. Many of my family members know, I had wanted a baby since I was 15. I had the image in my head that he or she was going to complete me and that was all I needed. My mom always told me, when looking for my husband, to look for someone that was going to COMPLIMENT me, NOT complete me, because I needed to be a whole person before I could truly know what love it. And boy was she right. I do have my insecurities still, and still don't 100% know who I am but I do feel like my husband is a compliment of me, and he does not complete me. God makes me a whole person and I wouldn't have it any other way!!

A baby not only compliments my marriage, but adds so much more blessings to it, I couldn't have imagined how my life would have changed so much and how difficult it would have been to be a single mom. It just makes me so much more proud of my mom for doing it with 2, then 3 kids for a while. She is an amazingly strong woman (love you lil mommy)! Much kudos to those single parents out there, you all are awsome!!!

.....I'm hoping tonight won't be as hard and I'm hoping he won't cry as long tonight as he did last night. I'm thinking he will probably go the same amount of time tonight but praying its shorter! Keep us in your prayers!!!

A bit sad

So it looks like I will have to stay in our spare bedroom for a while, with our son. Neither husband, nor I, and our son for that matter, have been getting enough sleep.

Dex likes to roll over and since he has never been able to sleep on his back, he wakes up and starts crying. I try to roll him back over to his tummy, and he just rolls right back over. I decided I'm going to have to let him CIO (cry it out) for the time being, that way at least daddy will get some sleep since he has to go back to work. I really don't like using that CIO method but I don't feel like there is any other way, Dex needs to learn to self soothe and put himself back to sleep when he rolls over otherwise I'm not sure if he will ever learn to do that.

I've been reading for a couple of months now, on the baby center Feb2013 birth club board, about how some moms use the CIO method and now their babies are sleeping through the night now. Don't get me wrong, up until now I haven't forced or pushed anything on my son, he has/is learning to do things on his own, its just his sleep he is having trouble with and I feel like this is the only way to 'fix' it. I was never worried about him learning to crawl or roll over or sit up or reaching any other milestone so far, and he has taught himself/ learned to do those things on his own. I couldn't be more proud of him!

Now some bragging time:
We bought him a walker when he was 5 months old. He wasn't able to reach the floor then, but is now going all over the house in it! He "walks" backwards, side to side, and now hops forward. He is so smart and can get himself out of tight areas without my help. When he is ready to get out he will come over to where I am and reach his arms up to me!! He loves swinging in his jumper and when he has had enough in that and I come toward him to get him out, he jumps to me and holds my leg! He is just the cutest thing ever!!

I've been teaching him some sign language (what very little I know, the rest I YouTube it haha). He knows: "All done", "up", "cereal" and "daddy". We are working on "more", "bottle", and waving hello! I'm sure there are others he knows just by me saying them but as I'm typing this and watchin him, my mind is kind of at 3 places at once so I'm forgetting some. We bought him some rubberoo socks and he looks like he is wearing shoes now (so cute so cute), and that means I can skip a day in between sweeping now, yay!



I haven't been able to scrap much these last 2 weeks, and feel a bit stressed because of it. Hahah sounds weird because scrapbooking is what relieves my stress. I really really miss my BFF so so much. She and her husband are missionaries and are in Africa right now. It's be an adjustment learning that I can only communicate with her through email. I miss talking to her and txting her at random times about random things. We have a care package waiting to be sent because money has been tight these days, but now that things are getting caught up I'm hoping I can surprise her and send it soon, with her belated birthday present in it. I'm sure she won't mind, I just wish it didn't cost an arm to send it!

I haven't heard from my brother in over a month and although it scares me, I have faith he is alright. He rarely talks to my mom and since he now lives alone I guess my anxiety has elevated a bit. Asking my mom how he is, is  the only way I know he is still alive! I always thought we were close, but I guess not as close as I'm hoping.

So I'm still praying about my life changing secret and hopefully soon I'll have an answer on that.
We BBQ'd yesterday and now we have food to eat off of for the next couple weeks, I was even able to freeze some! I grilled some zucchini (sp?) for Dex and am going to mash it up tonight and see how he likes it! I tried it once and thought it was alright, and am hoping to raise Dex to like foods daddy and I don't normally eat on a regular basis. I want to broaden his food pallet more than my own and be adventurous! I don't eat sweet potatos but have been making baby food outta them for about 3 weeks now! I accidentally made the puree too watery and added banana to it and man, that stuff was good!!
I was able to calculate how much I'm spending on his food and we average about >$5 for 2 weeks worth of food for him. We do have wic but since I'm making his food, I was thinking of donating the baby food we do get from that to some family members that need it (I know I'm not supposed to do that but I'm gonna do it anyway). I keep forgetting to ask my family but will hopefully do that soon!!!

Well Dex is done jumping now so I guess I'll end it here....toodles

Venting....

One thing that gets under my butt is when people look at my son and say he is chubby!!

In my mind, chubby means fat and since I've been bullied my whole life because of my looks, I really hate it when people comment on and like that.

I'm fully aware he will not be 'chubby' forever, and that all babies get chubby.

We went to buy him some clothes yesterday at Wally world, because he is growin fast and is tall for his age. We had to get 24m clothes because of his height and I wanted a bigger size anyway so that he has room to grow into them. The 18m would have been a perfect size but like I said I wanted him to have room to grow so that he can have some clothes for a while. Lady #1 saw me getting some shorts that size and asked how old he was, I replied 6mo and she looked at him and said 'oh wow, chubby boy'. I gave my half assed smile and continued to shop. Once we got to the cashier, she saw the size as well and asked the same question but then asked how much he weighed also. He is only 20lbs....right where he should be, but he is almost 30in long. "Yeah he is a chubby fellow" was her reply. By that time I was starting to get a little annoyed.

Why must people comment on that?! I mean EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT so why do you feel the need to put your two cents in and say that my child is chubby for his age. He carries his fat cells differently just as the rest of us do!! He has a fuller face and fuller thighs, thats all!!!

I know that no one will ever understand why I get so upset with this and I really don't feel the need to further explain my reasoning. But if you have been bullied by "friends" and FAMILY on your weight your whole life maybe you will have a SMALL understanding of why it urks me so much!!

Needless to say, all the clothes have room for him to grow and he should be set for a couple months.

Yeah that was my vent for the day!




On a lighter note, this weekend is going pretty well. Just chill! We plan on firing up the grill later and cooking some food for the rest of next week!

We were able to go to Hobby Lobby (since we don't have a Michael's here) and my 'splurge' was for a Paper Portfolio! I had kept all my scrapping paper together in the sheets you put the pages into the scrapbook. So now all my paper is organized by color and so much easier to access now!



Hubby was able to get some craft supplies to keep him busy at work, and since Dex got new clothes we were blessed enough this month to get those extra things!
Next month we are going up to Waco,TX to visit the Dr.Pepper museum AND maybe go to Peter Piper Pizza! Hahaha yes it is the kid inside me that is jumping up and down!!

I have been really really missing my Grandpa and hope that he knows I'm thinking and praying for him!! I've been having a lot of dreams about him recently and I like waking up smiling because of that! I can't wait to move back to EP so that I can see him every week and he can get to know Dex, sort of!

Well the laundry is calling me...toodles

4 day weekend!!

So I'm super glad God is always blessing my family and watching over them!

We have been in a bit of a financial slum, but recently hubby got his SPC rank back so thankfully they will be giving us back pay for the months he was supposed to have it back!! That means we can finally start saving again for our move back to EP!!! And for a little splurge of treats for ourselves since our son was born!

I knew in His timing things would start to look up!! Thanks Lord!!

So this weekend we don't have many plans, just to go buy a car battery for hub's car, he has been without his lil baby for about 2 weeks, so hopefully we can get that done so that Zal and I can get outta the house next week for a bit, besides going for walks! Maybe we will cookout this weekend, I'm craving steak again, for the 3rd time this month, hahah, and we do get Wal-Mart premieum steaks (It's a steak over!!) and they are really good!! We are also going to try and finish season 3 of the Walking Dead seeing as the next season starts in Oct. Now this may sound funny but I don't actually watch it when the zombies start showing up! Yes, I am a big baby, and do get scared, so I don't look. In the first season I could look and thought the make-up was great (because I watch Face Off and was intrigued buy how great the make-up artist's job was) but then it seemed with each season the make-up got a bit more scary so now I just don't look! I bet you are like, well why even watch it, and for that I say, I'm too involved in the story line to not watch. lol yes I'm silly and I know it, I hear it a lot from my hubs!

If anyone reading this watches Dexter.......I'm soooo willing to gab about it!! I can't believe there are only 3 episodes left!! That makes me so sad but I'm sure new things will come along!

So I don't want to tell yet, but if ya'll can keep us in your prayers that would be great! I'm deciding something that is life changing for me, but will still be in prayer for a couple of months, seeing if this is what I'm supposed to do! So pray for my life changing secret, hahahah!!

Well Dex is waking up from his nap now! Toodles!

Just felt like it!

I really miss hearing a new song from *NSync, I didn't get to watch the preformance on the VMA's this year, but I YouTube'd it and since I'm listening to them right now, it really takes me back to being in 8th grade and high school, being a super fan! I even remember how I started liking them!

At first I was a BSB fan, fell for the old dude Howie, then one summer I was spending it AZ with my cousin and she said she had a crush on JC from *NSync and I was like uhh whose that! First song I ever heard from them was "Tearin' Up my Heart" and that was all it took. I also remember my cousin telling me I couldn't like JC because she liked him first. But I liked him anyway! hahaha

Yes I still like them, and will always like them and I'm not afraid to admit it!! I don't care if you laugh or think I'm weird, I will always be an *NSync fan!

Ok enough about that!

I haven't really tried anything from my VoxBox yet, just the Tangle Fix by @GoodyHair. So far it only takes 2 swipes through my hair and the tangle is gone! It does tug at my hair a little but I expect that with any brush! Here is what it looks like, I'm not sure if there are different sizes, this one does say medium so I guess there is, hahah ok I'm dumb! I do own a bristle brush, and it does take me like 5-6 brush throughs with it to get one tangle out, but I haven't tried this new brush after a shower so we will see how it goes!

 

So recently, my son is taking 3 naps a day. Sometimes I get an hour out of it but for the most part its been between 30-45min. Most of the time I am lazy during that time, I use it to lay down because my back hurts. At other times I clean, and the times I feel most stressed out I use that time to Scrapbook! I use scrapbooking as a way to release my stress. I've been meaning to open up my own Etsy store, but I'm not sure that will even generate any profit but its worth a try!! I have made an account but I need to go change my store name. Once I have it open I will post a link to it so ya'll can check it out!

 

I've been taking Zal for walks in the morning after his first nap. I've been averaging .7 miles, except yesterday we ended up going to the shoppette so that was about 1.3 miles. Not too bad, and the weather was nice enough, it wasn't too hot and the humidity was decent. I thought about goin today but right now it seems too hot and looking at the time as I write this, it is almost time for hubby to come home for lunch!

 

I do need to mop my floors so I guess I'll end this today! I need to write my bestie an email...shame on me for taking more than 4 days on that!!! So long for today.....



Scrambled eggs

Sometimes I feel like my mind might turn into scrambled eggs if I don't go back to school!

I mean I'm a few years away from being 30 and the thought of going back to school to start my career, makes me feel like I wasted away my years of being 20 something to just lolligag and "find myself" when I should have been focused on school so that by NOW I could have already been done and obtaining my PH.D....but noooooo....I had to be lazy and silly and just go here and there and then take some "time off".

I never believed it when someone said "don't take time off from school, because you won't go back". I can see it now, if my husband were to stay in the military, I probably wouldn't go back to school and just stayed at home and be a "SAHM" (stay at home mom). When I was 18, you could have asked me, "What do you want to be when you 'grow' up" and my response would have been "be a wife and mom and thats it". The thought of being a home-maker was sooo appealing to me.

But of course, once I turned 21 that all changed and had you asked me the same question, I would have said "I want to be an eye doctor". Well in a few months I'll be 28 and man, I wish I could go back in time and kick myself in the butt and say "get on the ball, go back to school, (after I got married) and don't waste time."

I can't believe I allowed myself to be so lazy and just 'attempt' to be a home-maker when I knew deep down that isn't want my heart wanted. Yes I wanted a family, but I've never been one to accept money or materialistic things as gifts (and I feel like that is sometimes the case right now, yes it may not make sense to yall but in my head I feel like sometimes I accept things my husband gives me as a gift). Even now that I'm not working I feel so bad that I can't help my husband and contribute to the family income. With my son here, that feeling has evolved into even more guilt now that we need things to keep this little guy alive and healthy. I guess the best way to put it is- I've always wanted to be fully independant-financially!

I cannot say how blessed I am, enough, because only God knows how much I am soo soo grateful that I can stay at home right now and watch him grow and be able to make my husband dinner and greet him at the door with a martini. (haha I really don't I just saw that on American Dad once) But it sure would be nice to feel like I'm contributing and 'pulling my weight' as far as income is concerned!!

I'm blessed beyond what I deserve, we have money for bills and groceries and little 'extras' every now and then, but that doesn't ease the guilt in my heart.

I guess its just something I need to keep praying about!!

My brain will one day go back to being a hard boiled egg, and that will hopefully be in a few months, I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying a lot!! I've been looking up things I will need for school, and developing a plan to furthering my education and getting on the ball with my career. My plan is to major in BioChemistry, then go on to get my PH.D in Opthalmology!!

It will be many many years of hard work but I know deep down I can get it done!!

Lost

Have you ever watched a show and just been so lost in it that once its over you have to "snap yourself back" into reality?! Where the whole time your watching you feel like your in the same place as the characters and your surroundings in real life all fade away. And once you snap back you realize "Oh yeah, this is where I am now!"

That happens to me a lot! I get invested and once something in real life distracts me, or I hear my son 'talk' to me I realize, oh yes, I do have a son, I'm not living in Miami or have zombies chasing me!! (in reference to the show 'Dexter' and 'the Walking Dead.

I really couldn't tell you why that happens, I really do love my life and everything I am blessed with and no  I don't wish things could be different. SO I guess I'm just a weirdo!

I do wish some situations could change but that would be on how I handle them!

Last night I was dreaming I was throwing my Grandpa a party at my Grams house and as I was ushering people inside before he got there, I faintly hear my son talking in the background. I know I was half asleep because in the dream I didn't have kids and wasn't married. I got up to check on my son and to give him his paci and noticed it was 330am. WTHeck! Zal doesn't normally get up and stay awake like that. I did drift in and out of sleep for the next hour and somewhat finished my dream, which is weird, I've only been able to do that a handful of times in my life.

In my dream I was so so happy to see my Grampa, younger (like 65), full of life, with a Coors in his hand dancing with my cousin to Cumbia music! I really didn't want to wake up, it felt so real to see him dancing there, just like when I was younger at family gatherings at his house. I ended up being fully awak by 430am, and shed a few tears........I just really miss my grampa a lot! But I was glad I was able to see him in my dream.

Sleep training!!

I must say, sleep training a baby is freakin amazing!!!

I wouldn't say I really did it, I do feel like my son 'learned' to sleep in a way.

I started putting him in his bed when he was tired,(only at nap time) about 3 weeks ago. He would play and fuss a little and just when he was about to cry I would pick him up and feed him. About 2 weeks ago I started giving him his paci when he would start crying, as a comfort. Well last tues. I put him down as I have normally done, about 9am, and he fussed for about 10 min, then gave him his paci, and he was out like burned out light bulb! Then thurs. we came to bed for nap, and this time it only took 5 min. Since then it takes about 10-20min of playing/fussing before he is napping.

To my giant surprise, Saturday night, we get ready for bed, do our nightly ritual. I put him to feed and he was playing and not wanting to eat. So I put him down in his bed thinking he was going to fuss it out, tried the paci, thinking he would start crying and want to eat again to go to sleep, but NO!!! He was out within 5 min and I was just in shock. I kept waiting for him to wake up but after an hour I knew he would be out for another 2-3 hours at least since this was bed time.

I would like to thank God, for giving me the patience I needed in consistantly putting him down for a nap! And I would like to thank my Son!! He is learning good habits and continues to amaze me and dazzle me!! He has a bit of trouble during the night 'self soothing' but I'm ok with that and I'm just super glad I'm still able to breastfeed during those times. This last week he has been sleeping between 4-5 hours, then waking up every two hours to eat. So bed time is at 8, he is asleep by 830pm, wakes up around 1130 or 1230am, eats, goes right back to sleep, up at 2, eats, sleeps, up at 4, eats, sleeps, up about 530 or 6 depending on how loud daddy is getting ready for PT.

So all this to say, I'm super super glad his sleep regression only lasted 2 months and he is now getting into better sleep habits. I'm not really looking forward to his teeth actually coming in, because then I know he will be sleeping all crazy again, but I know with some prayer, support and love we can both get through this and everything will be a-ok!!!

Life with an infant

So I had a baby and life has changed, as expected, extremely!

Its really hard to find time to myself, seeing that I have another human being to take care of! Its such a blessing though. I have so much fun teaching my son new things and watching him learn and grow. Its an amazing experience to be a mom! He is now 6 months old.

Recently he has learned to roll over. He can roll from his tummy to his back. They say the hardest one is that roll, but I think each way (from back to tummy or reverse) is hard. Sleep has become a bit more........scheduled I guess you can say. At least at night! I had nights where he would wake up every 30 min. and boy was that rough. He went through that for about 3 weeks, and is still going through a sleep regression- waking up every 2 hours.

I'm used to it and can say I'm glad its "progressed" to 2 hours, and am grateful it has stayed that way so far!! He will give me 3-4 hours with the initial put down, we start our bedtime routine around 745pm. He gets 2 tbsps of oatmeal cereal with a slice of mashed banana mixed with formula. Then I wait about 5 min after he finishes to let the food settle, then we change and I put him in his pack'n'play so that he knows its time for bed. I tell him "its time for memes" and I pick him up and breastfeed him till he goes to sleep.

He is asleep by 830pm! He wakes up around 1130 or 12am and I feed him again and he goes right back to sleep. Since he was about 5.5 months is when he went from waking every 30 min to now being every 2 hours. Up until about 5am, when daddy gets up for PT he sleeps in his bed, and at that time I put him in bed with me until daddy leaves, then sometimes if he isn't fully awak by 6am, then he goes back to sleep till 7am.

His naps have been all crazy! He doesn't have a napping schedule as of right now like he did up until he was 5 months old. I try to not stress about it, seeing as he will nap whenever he is ready and has never been the type of baby to be "over tired" to go to sleep. I did start puttin him down around 9am, when I can tell he is tired and just is fighting sleep.

Today he surprised me! Normally I put him down and he fusses for a good 10-20 minutes, and right before he starts crying I pick him up and feed him and he sleeps for a little while. Well today, I put him down he fussed for about 8 minutes and I have him his paci and he fell asleep, and not just for 10-20 minutes, this was a good 1 hour nap!! YAY!!

I'm praying really hard that this wont be a once in a while type of nap, but only time will tell!!

I can heard him talking now, he is waking up from his second nap of the day, so until next time!!!!