CIO: Night 1

I've come to the sad conclusion that I will have to go about helping my son sleep better at night by letting him Cry It Out (CIO). I really really didn't want to do that because it really does break my heart to hear him cry but now that he is rolling all over his bed, I can't keep staying awake to roll him back over every time. (He is a tummy sleeper and once on his back he freaks out a little)

Last night we stayed in the guest room so that daddy could get some rest. He slept from about 7:30pm-10:30pm, I fed him, then he woke up again around 12:45 and I gave him his paci and prayed and prayed. He cried for about 30 min off and on and rolled around. When he first started crying I picked him up after 5 min because I felt so bad. I didn't want him to think I just abandoned him there. I held him for about 2 min and put him back down. I think that made the crying a little worse but I laid down in the bed next to him (he is in his bassinet) and tried to comfort him by rubbing his back.

He finally went to sleep about 1:20am and I finally fell asleep. He woke up again around 2:30am and was just stirring a bit, then slept till 5am.

I prayed so hard for strength and patience, and right now I'm going to pray for persistence. I have to keep at this so that he will learn. This morning he was upset I could tell, he didn't want to cuddle with me and wasn't as talkative as he normally is in the mornings. He usually gives me besos but not this morning. I realize he probably won't remember this, and I'm praying so so hard that he won't. I never want him to feel like I'm going to always be this 'mean', or not comfort him when he needs it.

I never in my wildest dreams thought being a mom would be this challenging. Many of my family members know, I had wanted a baby since I was 15. I had the image in my head that he or she was going to complete me and that was all I needed. My mom always told me, when looking for my husband, to look for someone that was going to COMPLIMENT me, NOT complete me, because I needed to be a whole person before I could truly know what love it. And boy was she right. I do have my insecurities still, and still don't 100% know who I am but I do feel like my husband is a compliment of me, and he does not complete me. God makes me a whole person and I wouldn't have it any other way!!

A baby not only compliments my marriage, but adds so much more blessings to it, I couldn't have imagined how my life would have changed so much and how difficult it would have been to be a single mom. It just makes me so much more proud of my mom for doing it with 2, then 3 kids for a while. She is an amazingly strong woman (love you lil mommy)! Much kudos to those single parents out there, you all are awsome!!!

.....I'm hoping tonight won't be as hard and I'm hoping he won't cry as long tonight as he did last night. I'm thinking he will probably go the same amount of time tonight but praying its shorter! Keep us in your prayers!!!