God never fails!!!

My faith has always been super super important to me and God continues to show His love and grace to me even though I'm a sinner.

This month has been financially stressful and tight. Even though I knew He would take care of me and my lil family, still going through these problems was stressful. I've been blessed with friends who have helped us out when they, themselves, were going through a move and stressful times. I have always believed that He puts people in my life for a reason. And boy am I blessed with the few friends I do have. People have come and gone in my life (as they do for you I'm sure) and He never fails in letting us know that "Hey, I still have your best interests at hand!"

We are slowly getting back on our feet and knowing that the entire time, God was watching over us still gave us a peace in our minds and hearts. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel and its getting closer and closer with each passing day.

Watching my son grow and laugh and learn things every day is just the best gift God has given me, besides my husband!! I know there are still learning opportunites to be learned with raising Zal, and I don't think I will ever be ready for them, but I know with God looking out for us, it won't be as hard as I'm thinking it will be.

Lord, please continue to watch over my family, friends, my son and my husband! I can never thank you enough for all that you continue to bless me with. I pray, Lord, that I raise Zal to be a man of God and be a gentleman. Please continue to show me how to achieve that goal. Please continue to guide me to be a better and more supportive wife, a better daughter, a better sister, a better cousin, and a better friend to those around me. Thank you for never failing us, for showing us every day that you love us, give us grace and mercy, and for never letting us out of your sight. Amen

Since Zal just fell asleep and while I was typing this I had a snack, I'm getting a bit tired so I'm off for a cat nap! Toodles

My Novelas!

Ahoy me mateys! Today be the gr'ate Pirate day! I be Cap'n Cas an' I say ye landlubbers arrrghh.....ok I'm done lol

I thought I would write about what shows I like because well.....I just want to!

First of all my all time favorite tv show is the Golden Girls!! The first time I ever watched that show was in 8th grade and I'm not even sure I was allowed to, hahah sorry mom! When hubby would go out into the field I would have a day of just a marathon of Golden Girls! I remember freshman year of high school, a good friend of mine, Stephanie, and I would have sleep overs and after school sessions of Golden Girls and eat Hot Cheetos with Nacho cheese! Those were fun days! Back then I would consider myself a Rose, and sometimes I still am....but once I get older, like old lady age (75+) I want to be like Sophia! THat way, I will always have a funny/witty story to tell my grandkids!

My second favorite show is Dexter! I am so so so so so (and I can keep going with the so's) sad that this coming Sunday will be the last...episode...ever!!! :(  My brother got me into that show during the second season and man, I've been hooked ever since! While hubby was stationed in Korea I would go to sleep watching Dexter. Now some family members like to think I named my son after a serial killer, but honestly I liked that name and thought it would be awsome to do a play on words with that and my last name! Seeing as this is the internet....I'm not going to disclose that information, so those that know me, well thats what I was thinking when I gave my son that middle name, plus we spell it DextOr!

Other shows I like to watch are cooking shows. I like MasterChef, Hell's Kitchen, Rachel v. Guy, Chopped, and the recent Cutthroat Kitchen. That show is nuts and its fun that hubby and I watch it together! Normally we watch a few shows together, otherwise we do have our own that we like apart. We watch Castle, NCIS, the Walking Dead (and as stated before I close my eyes during Zombie scenes lol), Famliy Guy, American Dad, The Mentalist, The Client List, The Big Bang Theory (even Zal watches that show with us). Shows I watch without hubby include: Devious Maids, Face Off, Catfish, Friends....and I think that is all that I watch normally.

Since Dexter is ending we have been looking at new shows to get into. We've heard Game of Thrones is good...so we will see about that!

Last night Dex slept well, gave me 5 hours then another 4 after that, it was great!! I'm hoping that will become a regular thing, before his teeth start coming in!! I think today's blog will be short, so I'm off to eat some carrots!

Happy Talk like a Pirate day!!

nothing really

I'm super glad I now get at least 2 hours to myself when Zal takes his naps! Most of the time, that is! Every now and then he will have his 40min days, but I'll take it! Its nice to just sit back and relax!

Recently hubby and I have had a bit of some financial trouble and I'm praying things will perk up next month. This month was a "ramen noodles for dinner" most nights. Not that I'm complaining because I'm so blessed to even have food in the house, things could be much worse. I count my blessings every day and am super glad things are going smoothly for the most part!

I do wish I could have a better memory, hey maybe there is an oil for that! lol

There are many times family members have said "hey remember that time we blah blah blah," and I'm like "uh no". I'm hoping in Heaven, I can use a machine that will allow me to look back on my memories so that I can be like "heck yes I remember wasn't that funny!" Sometimes I wonder if it was because of my parents divorce that because it was traumatic, thats why I don't remember much. I've often wondered if hypnosis is real and is I could do that to remember certain things, not bad, just in general.

I think today I'll take my son out to the store just to browse. The house is clean for the most part, and since he does go stir-crazy I think he will enjoy people watching. I hope this doesn't sound too conceited, but I really enjoy that about 95% of the time, when we go to the store someone comments on how cute my son it!! I know every parent is biased but darn it, my kid is too stinkin' cute!! In my head, those comments make up for the bad ones that bullies used to tell me, might not make sense to you but in my brain it does.

So as I sit here and type this, and munch on my Sour cream and onion Pringles, I'm brought back to when my sister was little and she would get my grandpa Tony to take her to the store just so she could get some regular flavored Pringles. She loved them!! She also hates that my family and I reminisce about when she was younger. Sorry chives your just so cute so cute and I'm so glad I can remember things like that about you!!!

Anyway I think I'll go take a shower before son wakes up! Toodles

I know I know

Yes I realize its been 2 weeks since I've blogged.

Turns out the CIO method I was thinking I was doing isn't what it really is. Anyway, it only took one night of that for my son to stop rolling over and getting stuck. If he does it he doesn't cry anymore and I'm so glad he calms down when I let him know I'm right there! I didn't like hearing him cry (what parent does) so I'm glad it only took that one night for him to realize hey I can do it on my own!

He is super smart that way, it usually takes kids multiple times to see or do something before they get the hang of things. I would say about 50% of the things Zal learns he only needs once to learn to do it. Yes I am bragging and I know I'm totally biased but he is super smart!!

To continue on my brag post (yes that is what this is now lol) he says Dadada and no no no. He can now sign Dad and mom! We haven't been puttin him in the walker or jumper as we are still trying to learn crawling. He gets into the push-up position but isn't quite there yet! I give it another month! He has weaned himself from 4+ night time feedings to now 2, sometimes 3 depending on how tired I am and how whiny he is! But I am totally ok with him not sleeping through the night yet! It will come, and as I've always done, I'll let him make that decision, which should be close!!

On monday of last week he was having symptoms of a cold, because daddy brought home one, and I looked up some essential oil remedies and found Lemon oil works for infants for colds. Hubby's family is into Doterra oils and I am now a firm believer!! I can't wait to start selling them!! So tuesday he had a full blown cold: fever, runny nose, sneezing, cough, my poor baby boy! So I started with the lemon oil (diluted of course) 4 times a day on his chest and neck and by friday it was cleared up! Saturday and Sunday he still had a small runny nose but he was back to his normal happy lil self!! Yesterday it seemed like he was all clear, but there have been construction workers messing with things outside so its super dusty which makes me wonder if the boogers he has today are allergies, or still lingering from his cold. I'm not sure but I'm still putting the oils on just in case. If I think its getting any worse I'll take him to the doctor but I'm very much a believer now in essential oils!!

I've been working out somewhat, trying to get these last 8lbs gone! Then I'll be under 200 lbs! Its been a year and 7 months since I had my surgery and its about darn time I get back on track with my workouts! I've been doing "Dance Central" on the xBox, and even though my hubby doesn't think that is a workout, I think it is! I'm sucking in my abs and I try to over exaggerate the moves so that I am working up a sweat! I think had I been able to take dance class when I was younger I would have been a dancer, I love doin it! Its so fun!

I told hubby this year for my birthday I want to go dancing so hopefully we will be able to!! We are going back home for the holidays which I'm super excited about!! Last year sucked monkey butts because we had to stay here for the holidays and we vowed to never do that again, even though it was a nice lil thanksgiving and Christmas we had, it would have been even better with family around!!

Should only be a couple more months till we are back in EP for good and I'm super stoked about that! Did I use that word right?! lol, I'm not sure!
ANyway I need to get a little nap in before Zal wakes up! Toodles

CIO: Night 1

I've come to the sad conclusion that I will have to go about helping my son sleep better at night by letting him Cry It Out (CIO). I really really didn't want to do that because it really does break my heart to hear him cry but now that he is rolling all over his bed, I can't keep staying awake to roll him back over every time. (He is a tummy sleeper and once on his back he freaks out a little)

Last night we stayed in the guest room so that daddy could get some rest. He slept from about 7:30pm-10:30pm, I fed him, then he woke up again around 12:45 and I gave him his paci and prayed and prayed. He cried for about 30 min off and on and rolled around. When he first started crying I picked him up after 5 min because I felt so bad. I didn't want him to think I just abandoned him there. I held him for about 2 min and put him back down. I think that made the crying a little worse but I laid down in the bed next to him (he is in his bassinet) and tried to comfort him by rubbing his back.

He finally went to sleep about 1:20am and I finally fell asleep. He woke up again around 2:30am and was just stirring a bit, then slept till 5am.

I prayed so hard for strength and patience, and right now I'm going to pray for persistence. I have to keep at this so that he will learn. This morning he was upset I could tell, he didn't want to cuddle with me and wasn't as talkative as he normally is in the mornings. He usually gives me besos but not this morning. I realize he probably won't remember this, and I'm praying so so hard that he won't. I never want him to feel like I'm going to always be this 'mean', or not comfort him when he needs it.

I never in my wildest dreams thought being a mom would be this challenging. Many of my family members know, I had wanted a baby since I was 15. I had the image in my head that he or she was going to complete me and that was all I needed. My mom always told me, when looking for my husband, to look for someone that was going to COMPLIMENT me, NOT complete me, because I needed to be a whole person before I could truly know what love it. And boy was she right. I do have my insecurities still, and still don't 100% know who I am but I do feel like my husband is a compliment of me, and he does not complete me. God makes me a whole person and I wouldn't have it any other way!!

A baby not only compliments my marriage, but adds so much more blessings to it, I couldn't have imagined how my life would have changed so much and how difficult it would have been to be a single mom. It just makes me so much more proud of my mom for doing it with 2, then 3 kids for a while. She is an amazingly strong woman (love you lil mommy)! Much kudos to those single parents out there, you all are awsome!!!

.....I'm hoping tonight won't be as hard and I'm hoping he won't cry as long tonight as he did last night. I'm thinking he will probably go the same amount of time tonight but praying its shorter! Keep us in your prayers!!!

A bit sad

So it looks like I will have to stay in our spare bedroom for a while, with our son. Neither husband, nor I, and our son for that matter, have been getting enough sleep.

Dex likes to roll over and since he has never been able to sleep on his back, he wakes up and starts crying. I try to roll him back over to his tummy, and he just rolls right back over. I decided I'm going to have to let him CIO (cry it out) for the time being, that way at least daddy will get some sleep since he has to go back to work. I really don't like using that CIO method but I don't feel like there is any other way, Dex needs to learn to self soothe and put himself back to sleep when he rolls over otherwise I'm not sure if he will ever learn to do that.

I've been reading for a couple of months now, on the baby center Feb2013 birth club board, about how some moms use the CIO method and now their babies are sleeping through the night now. Don't get me wrong, up until now I haven't forced or pushed anything on my son, he has/is learning to do things on his own, its just his sleep he is having trouble with and I feel like this is the only way to 'fix' it. I was never worried about him learning to crawl or roll over or sit up or reaching any other milestone so far, and he has taught himself/ learned to do those things on his own. I couldn't be more proud of him!

Now some bragging time:
We bought him a walker when he was 5 months old. He wasn't able to reach the floor then, but is now going all over the house in it! He "walks" backwards, side to side, and now hops forward. He is so smart and can get himself out of tight areas without my help. When he is ready to get out he will come over to where I am and reach his arms up to me!! He loves swinging in his jumper and when he has had enough in that and I come toward him to get him out, he jumps to me and holds my leg! He is just the cutest thing ever!!

I've been teaching him some sign language (what very little I know, the rest I YouTube it haha). He knows: "All done", "up", "cereal" and "daddy". We are working on "more", "bottle", and waving hello! I'm sure there are others he knows just by me saying them but as I'm typing this and watchin him, my mind is kind of at 3 places at once so I'm forgetting some. We bought him some rubberoo socks and he looks like he is wearing shoes now (so cute so cute), and that means I can skip a day in between sweeping now, yay!



I haven't been able to scrap much these last 2 weeks, and feel a bit stressed because of it. Hahah sounds weird because scrapbooking is what relieves my stress. I really really miss my BFF so so much. She and her husband are missionaries and are in Africa right now. It's be an adjustment learning that I can only communicate with her through email. I miss talking to her and txting her at random times about random things. We have a care package waiting to be sent because money has been tight these days, but now that things are getting caught up I'm hoping I can surprise her and send it soon, with her belated birthday present in it. I'm sure she won't mind, I just wish it didn't cost an arm to send it!

I haven't heard from my brother in over a month and although it scares me, I have faith he is alright. He rarely talks to my mom and since he now lives alone I guess my anxiety has elevated a bit. Asking my mom how he is, is  the only way I know he is still alive! I always thought we were close, but I guess not as close as I'm hoping.

So I'm still praying about my life changing secret and hopefully soon I'll have an answer on that.
We BBQ'd yesterday and now we have food to eat off of for the next couple weeks, I was even able to freeze some! I grilled some zucchini (sp?) for Dex and am going to mash it up tonight and see how he likes it! I tried it once and thought it was alright, and am hoping to raise Dex to like foods daddy and I don't normally eat on a regular basis. I want to broaden his food pallet more than my own and be adventurous! I don't eat sweet potatos but have been making baby food outta them for about 3 weeks now! I accidentally made the puree too watery and added banana to it and man, that stuff was good!!
I was able to calculate how much I'm spending on his food and we average about >$5 for 2 weeks worth of food for him. We do have wic but since I'm making his food, I was thinking of donating the baby food we do get from that to some family members that need it (I know I'm not supposed to do that but I'm gonna do it anyway). I keep forgetting to ask my family but will hopefully do that soon!!!

Well Dex is done jumping now so I guess I'll end it here....toodles