Venting....

One thing that gets under my butt is when people look at my son and say he is chubby!!

In my mind, chubby means fat and since I've been bullied my whole life because of my looks, I really hate it when people comment on and like that.

I'm fully aware he will not be 'chubby' forever, and that all babies get chubby.

We went to buy him some clothes yesterday at Wally world, because he is growin fast and is tall for his age. We had to get 24m clothes because of his height and I wanted a bigger size anyway so that he has room to grow into them. The 18m would have been a perfect size but like I said I wanted him to have room to grow so that he can have some clothes for a while. Lady #1 saw me getting some shorts that size and asked how old he was, I replied 6mo and she looked at him and said 'oh wow, chubby boy'. I gave my half assed smile and continued to shop. Once we got to the cashier, she saw the size as well and asked the same question but then asked how much he weighed also. He is only 20lbs....right where he should be, but he is almost 30in long. "Yeah he is a chubby fellow" was her reply. By that time I was starting to get a little annoyed.

Why must people comment on that?! I mean EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT so why do you feel the need to put your two cents in and say that my child is chubby for his age. He carries his fat cells differently just as the rest of us do!! He has a fuller face and fuller thighs, thats all!!!

I know that no one will ever understand why I get so upset with this and I really don't feel the need to further explain my reasoning. But if you have been bullied by "friends" and FAMILY on your weight your whole life maybe you will have a SMALL understanding of why it urks me so much!!

Needless to say, all the clothes have room for him to grow and he should be set for a couple months.

Yeah that was my vent for the day!




On a lighter note, this weekend is going pretty well. Just chill! We plan on firing up the grill later and cooking some food for the rest of next week!

We were able to go to Hobby Lobby (since we don't have a Michael's here) and my 'splurge' was for a Paper Portfolio! I had kept all my scrapping paper together in the sheets you put the pages into the scrapbook. So now all my paper is organized by color and so much easier to access now!



Hubby was able to get some craft supplies to keep him busy at work, and since Dex got new clothes we were blessed enough this month to get those extra things!
Next month we are going up to Waco,TX to visit the Dr.Pepper museum AND maybe go to Peter Piper Pizza! Hahaha yes it is the kid inside me that is jumping up and down!!

I have been really really missing my Grandpa and hope that he knows I'm thinking and praying for him!! I've been having a lot of dreams about him recently and I like waking up smiling because of that! I can't wait to move back to EP so that I can see him every week and he can get to know Dex, sort of!

Well the laundry is calling me...toodles

4 day weekend!!

So I'm super glad God is always blessing my family and watching over them!

We have been in a bit of a financial slum, but recently hubby got his SPC rank back so thankfully they will be giving us back pay for the months he was supposed to have it back!! That means we can finally start saving again for our move back to EP!!! And for a little splurge of treats for ourselves since our son was born!

I knew in His timing things would start to look up!! Thanks Lord!!

So this weekend we don't have many plans, just to go buy a car battery for hub's car, he has been without his lil baby for about 2 weeks, so hopefully we can get that done so that Zal and I can get outta the house next week for a bit, besides going for walks! Maybe we will cookout this weekend, I'm craving steak again, for the 3rd time this month, hahah, and we do get Wal-Mart premieum steaks (It's a steak over!!) and they are really good!! We are also going to try and finish season 3 of the Walking Dead seeing as the next season starts in Oct. Now this may sound funny but I don't actually watch it when the zombies start showing up! Yes, I am a big baby, and do get scared, so I don't look. In the first season I could look and thought the make-up was great (because I watch Face Off and was intrigued buy how great the make-up artist's job was) but then it seemed with each season the make-up got a bit more scary so now I just don't look! I bet you are like, well why even watch it, and for that I say, I'm too involved in the story line to not watch. lol yes I'm silly and I know it, I hear it a lot from my hubs!

If anyone reading this watches Dexter.......I'm soooo willing to gab about it!! I can't believe there are only 3 episodes left!! That makes me so sad but I'm sure new things will come along!

So I don't want to tell yet, but if ya'll can keep us in your prayers that would be great! I'm deciding something that is life changing for me, but will still be in prayer for a couple of months, seeing if this is what I'm supposed to do! So pray for my life changing secret, hahahah!!

Well Dex is waking up from his nap now! Toodles!

Just felt like it!

I really miss hearing a new song from *NSync, I didn't get to watch the preformance on the VMA's this year, but I YouTube'd it and since I'm listening to them right now, it really takes me back to being in 8th grade and high school, being a super fan! I even remember how I started liking them!

At first I was a BSB fan, fell for the old dude Howie, then one summer I was spending it AZ with my cousin and she said she had a crush on JC from *NSync and I was like uhh whose that! First song I ever heard from them was "Tearin' Up my Heart" and that was all it took. I also remember my cousin telling me I couldn't like JC because she liked him first. But I liked him anyway! hahaha

Yes I still like them, and will always like them and I'm not afraid to admit it!! I don't care if you laugh or think I'm weird, I will always be an *NSync fan!

Ok enough about that!

I haven't really tried anything from my VoxBox yet, just the Tangle Fix by @GoodyHair. So far it only takes 2 swipes through my hair and the tangle is gone! It does tug at my hair a little but I expect that with any brush! Here is what it looks like, I'm not sure if there are different sizes, this one does say medium so I guess there is, hahah ok I'm dumb! I do own a bristle brush, and it does take me like 5-6 brush throughs with it to get one tangle out, but I haven't tried this new brush after a shower so we will see how it goes!

 

So recently, my son is taking 3 naps a day. Sometimes I get an hour out of it but for the most part its been between 30-45min. Most of the time I am lazy during that time, I use it to lay down because my back hurts. At other times I clean, and the times I feel most stressed out I use that time to Scrapbook! I use scrapbooking as a way to release my stress. I've been meaning to open up my own Etsy store, but I'm not sure that will even generate any profit but its worth a try!! I have made an account but I need to go change my store name. Once I have it open I will post a link to it so ya'll can check it out!

 

I've been taking Zal for walks in the morning after his first nap. I've been averaging .7 miles, except yesterday we ended up going to the shoppette so that was about 1.3 miles. Not too bad, and the weather was nice enough, it wasn't too hot and the humidity was decent. I thought about goin today but right now it seems too hot and looking at the time as I write this, it is almost time for hubby to come home for lunch!

 

I do need to mop my floors so I guess I'll end this today! I need to write my bestie an email...shame on me for taking more than 4 days on that!!! So long for today.....



Scrambled eggs

Sometimes I feel like my mind might turn into scrambled eggs if I don't go back to school!

I mean I'm a few years away from being 30 and the thought of going back to school to start my career, makes me feel like I wasted away my years of being 20 something to just lolligag and "find myself" when I should have been focused on school so that by NOW I could have already been done and obtaining my PH.D....but noooooo....I had to be lazy and silly and just go here and there and then take some "time off".

I never believed it when someone said "don't take time off from school, because you won't go back". I can see it now, if my husband were to stay in the military, I probably wouldn't go back to school and just stayed at home and be a "SAHM" (stay at home mom). When I was 18, you could have asked me, "What do you want to be when you 'grow' up" and my response would have been "be a wife and mom and thats it". The thought of being a home-maker was sooo appealing to me.

But of course, once I turned 21 that all changed and had you asked me the same question, I would have said "I want to be an eye doctor". Well in a few months I'll be 28 and man, I wish I could go back in time and kick myself in the butt and say "get on the ball, go back to school, (after I got married) and don't waste time."

I can't believe I allowed myself to be so lazy and just 'attempt' to be a home-maker when I knew deep down that isn't want my heart wanted. Yes I wanted a family, but I've never been one to accept money or materialistic things as gifts (and I feel like that is sometimes the case right now, yes it may not make sense to yall but in my head I feel like sometimes I accept things my husband gives me as a gift). Even now that I'm not working I feel so bad that I can't help my husband and contribute to the family income. With my son here, that feeling has evolved into even more guilt now that we need things to keep this little guy alive and healthy. I guess the best way to put it is- I've always wanted to be fully independant-financially!

I cannot say how blessed I am, enough, because only God knows how much I am soo soo grateful that I can stay at home right now and watch him grow and be able to make my husband dinner and greet him at the door with a martini. (haha I really don't I just saw that on American Dad once) But it sure would be nice to feel like I'm contributing and 'pulling my weight' as far as income is concerned!!

I'm blessed beyond what I deserve, we have money for bills and groceries and little 'extras' every now and then, but that doesn't ease the guilt in my heart.

I guess its just something I need to keep praying about!!

My brain will one day go back to being a hard boiled egg, and that will hopefully be in a few months, I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying a lot!! I've been looking up things I will need for school, and developing a plan to furthering my education and getting on the ball with my career. My plan is to major in BioChemistry, then go on to get my PH.D in Opthalmology!!

It will be many many years of hard work but I know deep down I can get it done!!

Lost

Have you ever watched a show and just been so lost in it that once its over you have to "snap yourself back" into reality?! Where the whole time your watching you feel like your in the same place as the characters and your surroundings in real life all fade away. And once you snap back you realize "Oh yeah, this is where I am now!"

That happens to me a lot! I get invested and once something in real life distracts me, or I hear my son 'talk' to me I realize, oh yes, I do have a son, I'm not living in Miami or have zombies chasing me!! (in reference to the show 'Dexter' and 'the Walking Dead.

I really couldn't tell you why that happens, I really do love my life and everything I am blessed with and no  I don't wish things could be different. SO I guess I'm just a weirdo!

I do wish some situations could change but that would be on how I handle them!

Last night I was dreaming I was throwing my Grandpa a party at my Grams house and as I was ushering people inside before he got there, I faintly hear my son talking in the background. I know I was half asleep because in the dream I didn't have kids and wasn't married. I got up to check on my son and to give him his paci and noticed it was 330am. WTHeck! Zal doesn't normally get up and stay awake like that. I did drift in and out of sleep for the next hour and somewhat finished my dream, which is weird, I've only been able to do that a handful of times in my life.

In my dream I was so so happy to see my Grampa, younger (like 65), full of life, with a Coors in his hand dancing with my cousin to Cumbia music! I really didn't want to wake up, it felt so real to see him dancing there, just like when I was younger at family gatherings at his house. I ended up being fully awak by 430am, and shed a few tears........I just really miss my grampa a lot! But I was glad I was able to see him in my dream.

Sleep training!!

I must say, sleep training a baby is freakin amazing!!!

I wouldn't say I really did it, I do feel like my son 'learned' to sleep in a way.

I started putting him in his bed when he was tired,(only at nap time) about 3 weeks ago. He would play and fuss a little and just when he was about to cry I would pick him up and feed him. About 2 weeks ago I started giving him his paci when he would start crying, as a comfort. Well last tues. I put him down as I have normally done, about 9am, and he fussed for about 10 min, then gave him his paci, and he was out like burned out light bulb! Then thurs. we came to bed for nap, and this time it only took 5 min. Since then it takes about 10-20min of playing/fussing before he is napping.

To my giant surprise, Saturday night, we get ready for bed, do our nightly ritual. I put him to feed and he was playing and not wanting to eat. So I put him down in his bed thinking he was going to fuss it out, tried the paci, thinking he would start crying and want to eat again to go to sleep, but NO!!! He was out within 5 min and I was just in shock. I kept waiting for him to wake up but after an hour I knew he would be out for another 2-3 hours at least since this was bed time.

I would like to thank God, for giving me the patience I needed in consistantly putting him down for a nap! And I would like to thank my Son!! He is learning good habits and continues to amaze me and dazzle me!! He has a bit of trouble during the night 'self soothing' but I'm ok with that and I'm just super glad I'm still able to breastfeed during those times. This last week he has been sleeping between 4-5 hours, then waking up every two hours to eat. So bed time is at 8, he is asleep by 830pm, wakes up around 1130 or 1230am, eats, goes right back to sleep, up at 2, eats, sleeps, up at 4, eats, sleeps, up about 530 or 6 depending on how loud daddy is getting ready for PT.

So all this to say, I'm super super glad his sleep regression only lasted 2 months and he is now getting into better sleep habits. I'm not really looking forward to his teeth actually coming in, because then I know he will be sleeping all crazy again, but I know with some prayer, support and love we can both get through this and everything will be a-ok!!!

Life with an infant

So I had a baby and life has changed, as expected, extremely!

Its really hard to find time to myself, seeing that I have another human being to take care of! Its such a blessing though. I have so much fun teaching my son new things and watching him learn and grow. Its an amazing experience to be a mom! He is now 6 months old.

Recently he has learned to roll over. He can roll from his tummy to his back. They say the hardest one is that roll, but I think each way (from back to tummy or reverse) is hard. Sleep has become a bit more........scheduled I guess you can say. At least at night! I had nights where he would wake up every 30 min. and boy was that rough. He went through that for about 3 weeks, and is still going through a sleep regression- waking up every 2 hours.

I'm used to it and can say I'm glad its "progressed" to 2 hours, and am grateful it has stayed that way so far!! He will give me 3-4 hours with the initial put down, we start our bedtime routine around 745pm. He gets 2 tbsps of oatmeal cereal with a slice of mashed banana mixed with formula. Then I wait about 5 min after he finishes to let the food settle, then we change and I put him in his pack'n'play so that he knows its time for bed. I tell him "its time for memes" and I pick him up and breastfeed him till he goes to sleep.

He is asleep by 830pm! He wakes up around 1130 or 12am and I feed him again and he goes right back to sleep. Since he was about 5.5 months is when he went from waking every 30 min to now being every 2 hours. Up until about 5am, when daddy gets up for PT he sleeps in his bed, and at that time I put him in bed with me until daddy leaves, then sometimes if he isn't fully awak by 6am, then he goes back to sleep till 7am.

His naps have been all crazy! He doesn't have a napping schedule as of right now like he did up until he was 5 months old. I try to not stress about it, seeing as he will nap whenever he is ready and has never been the type of baby to be "over tired" to go to sleep. I did start puttin him down around 9am, when I can tell he is tired and just is fighting sleep.

Today he surprised me! Normally I put him down and he fusses for a good 10-20 minutes, and right before he starts crying I pick him up and feed him and he sleeps for a little while. Well today, I put him down he fussed for about 8 minutes and I have him his paci and he fell asleep, and not just for 10-20 minutes, this was a good 1 hour nap!! YAY!!

I'm praying really hard that this wont be a once in a while type of nap, but only time will tell!!

I can heard him talking now, he is waking up from his second nap of the day, so until next time!!!!